30 Dec And So It Is.
So this is new year’s…and what have you done?
This is the question ringing all over Twitter, a time for people to celebrate their accomplishments. Which, honestly, I am all about. But I didn’t do it. This year I published less than I ever have…but I wrote more. I am 100 pages into my second novel. I queried a large number of agents for my first novel, and had a ton of them request the whole thing, and while I am still un-agented, I am hopeful, and I got a lot of great feedback and learned so much in the process. I have been writing more essays, and they are longer, and they involve a lot more complexity. I have been working more outside of writing, and the press has been booming.
It was a challenging year emotionally. One of the hardest I can remember. But by the end of it, these last two months, I have emerged hopeful and more sure of myself than ever. I think that’s what difficult years do. We just have to survive them. Which is the hard part.
I am going to try to do a much better job updating here, rather than being on Twitter so much. That is just one resolution. I am hoping to do more readings and events in 2019, as well as teaching. And I plan on finishing this second book and doing the agent hunt all over again. I plan on bringing all of the good, life-giving habits I cultivated in 2018 into 2019 and adding some more. And shedding some dead weight–nothing to do with my body (because fuck diets and diet culture) but anything that isn’t growing me or making me better (or anyone) needs to go. Peace. Out.
The holidays are hard, and sometimes the close of the year is hard, especially if you feel like you haven’t done enough. We are so programmed to measure ourselves by our accomplishments. This year was fucking hard just to live day to day. I hope you know that you are enough, even if you didn’t write a single word, even if you couldn’t make it through a whole book (I only read half as many as I planned, though I definitely picked up and put down almost that many after just a few pages). If you’re reading this, I love you (unless you’re hate-reading this, in which case: I love you, but come on, dude) and I hope you see 2019 the way I do: glimmering with hope.